It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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