I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
