ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
