3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
