what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
