worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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