Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Randomize
