i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
