apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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