There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
