Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
