I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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