Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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