She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
