he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Can you bring me the toilet please
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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