im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
