Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
