it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
