You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
