honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
