we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
