With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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