The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
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