How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
