fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Houston, we have a blender
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
