First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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