What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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