dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
and you fell through a lawn chair
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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