C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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