I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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