We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
