You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
