"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
