Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
