Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
