Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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