i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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