I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
