I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Randomize
