Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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