just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
i think i just naturally attract stoners
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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