you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Randomize
