I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
