Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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