so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
this just has baby written all over it
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
