Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
