we have pet lesbian snakes
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
