discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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