I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
