Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
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