I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
it was like eating out sand paper
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
