Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
