You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Text me some of your sweat
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
