the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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