Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
