Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize