Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
