is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
