5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize