so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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