D3 body, D1 cock
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
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