God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
