hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
