before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
