just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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