is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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